God how i miss your smiling face...
It's been two months since I found out. That was definitely one of the worst days of my life... Our times together were so few, but so truly wonderful, that I don't know if I could ever try and top them with another person. We never really got to experience a "real" relationship because of our circumstances, but there was no question in my mind that you and I truly and whole-heartedly loved one another. How lucky am I to have known that feeling. And how dreadful that I have to live the rest of my life without you. I know you will always be with me, I can almost feel you at times, touching my face, holding my hand, and letting me know that everything will be o.k. My skin tingles, and I can't help but smile brightly, whispering "I know" to myself as I go on about my day.
I sometimes think about what might have been, had I made some different choices, or if you hadn't gotten so ill. Would we have made it, or would we have allowed circumstances to separate us, like we did while you were alive. We had so much keeping us apart, that I barely allowed myself the thought of how it could be, and now I have nothing but time to think about the possibilities.
I love you....forever and ever....and I can't wait for our forever to be together....
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