stomach pain.....

if only that was the only pain i were having right now.....

it's getting worse and worse everyday. i'm starting to get scared it might be something serious. but even if it is, it's the least of my problems.

i'm scared for my life right now. i'm my own worst enemy as usual, and i've put myself in a very bad spot.....again. the bright spot? well, i seem to be getting better at it.... hehe, i know it's not a laughing matter, but if i don't laugh at something, i might jump off a bridge.

i wish i knew what it took to be the best me...

why is my situation so prone to drama. i feel like my life is a friggin' soap opera, only it's the white trash one, not the classy, my last name is Rockerfeller one. it's like a never-ending after school special (I loved those, by the way). I just can't figure out if I'm perpetuating this awful affair called "My Life", or if I just have that kind of luck.

stress........it's almost to small of a word to describe my days.....i stay up nights so i can have some peace, but that of course winds up bringing more stress when the other half bitches about it. why does everything have to be so hard??? can't people learn how to choose their battles? Does every little issue have to turn into an epic? I just don't understand why this seems to be the norm around here....I hope it's not like this everywhere, cuz then I will never find peace.....sometimes i wonder if it's just a black cloud hanging over me, cuz everywhere i go it seems to be the same....it's like putting a cover on a couch. It looks different, but it's definitely the same crappy couch....